A Bible and a Blackberry

Several times in the past Brent and I have had discussions about our religious beliefs and how to best share these with Josie. She has gotten to really enjoy church (excluding choir, which she has made abundantly clear she wants nothing to do with) and we have had some very interesting discussions about God, prayer, grown up snacks (communion) and why Bayli’s mom sings on stage and I don’t. Her innocent questions have often got me asking my own questions, one of which continues to puzzle me today- why do we pray?

I’ve taken it one step further- what’s the difference between praying and planning ahead?

I think an accurate calendar, a detailed filing system and a label maker can take you pretty much anywhere you need to go in life. Think about it. You want to sell your house? Clean it up, price it well, pick a good realtor and BOOM- its sold. Want a new job? Get the proper education, write a killer resume, nail the interview and KAZAM- the job is yours. Need a new knee? Acquire an old sports injury, complete the prerequisite physical therapy and injections, endure several failed surgeries and KAPOW- shiny new metal in your leg. None of this has anything to do with the powers that be. Or does it?

My belief that planning ahead is all you need falls short sometimes. Like when confronted with childhood cancer, grown up cancer, natural disasters, resource actions and Charlie Sheen. I have no good explanation for any of those things and you sure as heck can’t organize your way out of those situations. So where does He come in?

You’ve heard the old saying about doors closing.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.” - Helen Keller -

So who exactly closes that door? And why did they close it? My rational mind says the door was shut because you weren’t prepared enough to walk through it. My spiritual mind says the door closed because it was part of a bigger plan and you just haven’t received the memo yet. But I know people with great houses that haven’t sold yet, people with a powerful skill set that don’t get the job they were qualified for, and I don’t even get my started about the lack of my new knee. I want to believe in the power of prayer, the comfort of knowing that someone has a bigger plan for you than you could ever have for yourself, and that everything will always work out in the end.

So hear goes nothing.

Dear God,
I admit that I don’t always turn to you when I should. Sometimes I feel like I can open my own doors and don’t need any help. But right now I feel as if that door is shut, dead bolted and the key has been thrown away. I did my best to prepare, work through it and try to look at the bright side, but I have failed. I turn it over to you now. Please open another door, and soon. You know what? I’d even take a window, with a pretty bird singing on a branch right outside of it. That way I can be sure I don’t miss it.

Thank you.

-Heather